Funny First Hello Email

SUBJECT: You are subscriber number [Number] PREVIEW: There was no ceremony. We apologise. Hi [Customer Name], Welcome to the [Brand Name] email list, a place where we send you slightly fewer emails than you were probably expecting. Here is what happened when you subscribed: A quiet notification appeared on someone's laptop. That someone was mid sandwich. They nodded once, respectfully, and carried on eating. That was your ceremony. We are sorry. To make up for it, here is a discount code, which is the corporate equivalent of a handshake: [Discount Code] for [Discount Percent] off